I am not a Lesbian or a Democrat

It has come to my attention that there are some rumors flying around about me.

For years people have thought I am a Democrat. There were hints of the possibility of this rumor starting years ago when my father used to call me a bleeding heart liberal because I didn't like it when he called the boys my sister dated sissies. But then I started that job with the state, working for a community mental health agency. When I started working there I had only voted one time in my adult life. I think it was a local election and I was staying at my parents house because I had been robbed blind at my apartment in Athens. It was one of those moments where the parents had on their red, white and blue and were like, 'you're coming too right?' Turns out it was a local election so I just did a sidebar with Dad prior to going in the booth. No idea who I voted for. The next time I went to vote there was a problem with my voter registration lapsing so I went and had my nails done. It is a terrible admission I know; I am just not very political. I am more of a 'I am my neighbor's keeper' kinda gal.

Fast forward and I am working at the mental health agency and all these people do is talk about how much the Republicans apparently are completely opposed to supporting Mental Health. There always seemed to be some Bill everyone knew about except me. So my theatre training kicked in. What else was I supposed to do? I lived a small sheltered life where I grew up watching The Walton's and Little House on the Prairie; my mother belonged to The John Birch Society for God's sake.

My tolerance and slightly left tendencies come from just living my life in the world we live it in. But I am not a Democrat. I educate myself to be able to have conversations. I have seen great things happen with either party in office. It is the same philosophy I apply to being a sports fan. I like players who give the best effort and have the most heart; I don't care what uniform they are wearing. Oh and I believe Government is a group of people who should not be determining who we can love in this life; but I also believe my marriage will be between a man and a women.

Which brings me to the next rumor. Someone who shall remain nameless, recently said that he thought he had heard I was a lesbian. Or maybe he said 'I thought you were a lesbien' or maybe he said everyone thinks you are a lesbian; all I heard was me and lesbian.

My initial reaction was to kick him in the balls. But I think he was genuinely going off rumor. Then my next reaction was to flee my skin. Not because I am a prejudice person but because I have to be reminded of the  heartbreaking reality that my biggest dream of all, to be a wife and mother, has not yet come true. And here I am at 44 years old, never been married and childless. Everyone keeps telling me to pursue my dreams; how do you pursue that one? Then what do you do when a 44 year old, never been married, childless man tells you he thought you were a lesbian?

Well, if you are me, you cry a little. Laugh a bit at the irony; or as it is, a double standard? Then you remind yourself that no self respecting lesbian that you know sits at home every weekend drinking wine, listening to Vern Godson records crying over the fact that her Prince has not showed. They wouldn't be caught dead soaking in the tub with a wan look on their face struggling to not suffocate in the loneliness. Hell no, all the lesbians I know are more like 'screw that, we are going dancing!'

So, I am definitely not a lesbian!

I am just a girl trying to get by with the hand I was dealt. Every once an a while it is hard to do that with dignity and grace. But I heard a rumor that I am doing the best I can, and that one is true.


Recipes: Cucumber slices for the eyes when there is a hot bath, wine and tears.

Roadtrips: Spend more time walking in another person's shoes then spreading rumors about them.

Renovations: If I were a lesbian I would want to be just like Ellen. But since I am not, I think I make a pretty good Sharyn waiting on her Prince....who knows, the longer I wait, maybe he will be King when we meet!