... I knew it was going to be a beautiful day and I wonder why I don't always try to wake with the sun. I am pretty sure it has been years since I gave a damn about my birthday. Years since I didn't wish it was just a Tuesday or Saturday and that it only had 2 hours in it; 'cause anyone can feel lonely, and desperate and cry for 2 hours and come out the other side. I never knew how sad I have been until I woke up this morning with such joy and hope and certainty.
When I got to work, no one knew it was my birthday. I like that. There is no pressure to respond to all the well wishes and the 'what are you doing to celebrate', etc. No one knew of course until the flowers and chocolates arrived from my Dad!
(You may have to refer back to Turn on the TV for reference; the card is signed Love, Brett Butler, Scott Baio, Paul Newman.)
It is moments like this that you know you are loved. My hope is everyone receives flowers from their Dad who is hanging in heaven with Paul. And where I have my prime suspects, and am grateful they read my bog; I like thinking I was delivered flowers and candy from my Dad today!
There were a few detours on this day; there was the 'inviting' someone to resign moment; spending the day in the chart room; and without the gory details, trust me those moments sucked. But they sucked like a teeth cleaning and not the root canals of birthdays past.
And then there are moments, like just a minute ago; where I find tears streaming down my face and I realize I am actually pursuing happiness. Today is the start of my new year...
Recipes: my birthday meal was succulent extra large shrimp, fresh avocado salad (yes, I am obsessed with avocado) and champagne! It's New Years for crying out loud!
Roadtrips: Took a trip to heaven today and that ain't a bad way to spend a birthday!
Renovations: Birthday 2010=sad; Birthday 2011=open to the possibility!
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